Thursday, August 23, 2007

20 Things You Didn't Know About Death

Newsflash: we're all going to die. But here are 20 things you didn't know about kicking the bucket.

1 The practice of burying the dead may date back 350,000 years, as evidenced by a 45-foot-deep pit in Atapuerca, Spain, filled with the fossils of 27 hominids of the species Homo heidelbergensis, a possible ancestor of Neanderthals and modern humans.

2 Never say die: There are at least 200 euphemisms for death, including "to be in Abraham's bosom," "just add maggots," and "sleep with the Tribbles" (a Star Trek favorite).

3 No American has died of old age since 1951.

4 That was the year the government eliminated that classification on death certificates.

5 The trigger of death, in all cases, is lack of oxygen. Its decline may prompt muscle spasms, or the "agonal phase," from the Greek word agon, or contest.

6 Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells become food for living bacteria in the gut, which release enough noxious gas to bloat the body and force the eyes to bulge outward.

7 So much for recycling: Burials in America deposit 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid—formaldehyde, methanol, and ethanol—into the soil each year. Cremation pumps dioxins, hydrochloric acid, sulfur dioxide, and carbon dioxide into the air.

8 Alternatively . . . A Swedish company, Promessa, will freeze-dry your body in liquid nitrogen, pulverize it with high-frequency vibrations, and seal the resulting powder in a cornstarch coffin. They claim this "ecological burial" will decompose in 6 to 12 months.

9 Zoroastrians in India leave out the bodies of the dead to be consumed by vultures.

10 The vultures are now dying off after eating cattle carcasses dosed with diclofenac, an anti-inflammatory used to relieve fever in livestock.

11 Queen Victoria insisted on being buried with the bathrobe of her long-dead husband, Prince Albert, and a plaster cast of his hand.

12 If this doesn't work, we're trying in vitro! In Madagascar, families dig up the bones of dead relatives and parade them around the village in a ceremony called famadihana. The remains are then wrapped in a new shroud and reburied. The old shroud is given to a newly married, childless couple to cover the connubial bed.

13(*) During a railway expansion in Egypt in the 19th century, construction companies unearthed so many mummies that they used them as fuel for locomotives.

14 Well, yeah, there's a slight chance this could backfire: English philosopher Francis Bacon, a founder of the scientific method, died in 1626 of pneumonia after stuffing a chicken with snow to see if cold would preserve it.

15 For organs to form during embryonic development, some cells must commit suicide. Without such programmed cell death, we would all be born with webbed feet, like ducks.

16 Waiting to exhale: In 1907 a Massachusetts doctor conducted an experiment with a specially designed deathbed and reported that the human body lost 21 grams upon dying. This has been widely held as fact ever since. It's not.

17 Buried alive: In 19th-century Europe there was so much anecdotal evidence that living people were mistakenly declared dead that cadavers were laid out in "hospitals for the dead" while attendants awaited signs of putrefaction.

18 Eighty percent of people in the United States die in a hospital.

19 If you can't make it here . . . More people commit suicide in New York City than are murdered.

20 It is estimated that 100 billion people have died since humans began.

For more salacious details about the deceased, try the following books:

The Corpse: A History, by Christine Quigley (1996).
The Biology of Death: Origins of Mortality, by André Klarsfeld and Frédéric Revah (2003).
R.I.P. : The Complete Book of Death and Dying, by Constance Jones (1997).
The American Way of Death, by Jessica Mitford (1963).
Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach (2003).

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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

107 Reasons why Beer/ Alcohol is Better than Women

(I don't say that they are good reasons :-)

1. You can enjoy a beer all month.
2. Alcohol stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When beer goes flat you toss it out.
6. Alcohol is never late.
7. HANGOVERS go away.
8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11. Alcohol never has a headache.
12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
16. A beer ALWAYS goes down easy.
17. You can share a beer with your friends.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
19. A beer is always wet.
20. beer doesn't demand equality.
21. A beer doesn't care when you come.
22. You can have a beer in public.
23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
25. Beer always comes in multiples of six.
26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than
dumping the empty bottle.
29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves
you thirsty.
30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
32. Beer looks the same in the morning.
33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
36. Beer doesn't get cramps.
37. Beer doesn't have a mother.
38. Beer doesn't have morals.
39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
40. Beer always listens and never argues.
41. Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
42. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
43. Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.
44. Beer doesn't demand legality.
45. Beer is never overweight.
46. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
47. Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
48. Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
49. Beer doesn't need much closet space.
50. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
51. Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
52. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
53. Beer never changes its mind.
54. Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
55. Beer never asks you to change the station.
56. Beer doesn't make you go shopping.
57. Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
58. Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
59. Beer is always easy to pick up.
60. Big, fat beers are nice to have.
61. Beer doesn't pout or play games.
62. Beer NEVER says no.
63. Beer is easy to get into.
64. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
65. Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
66. Beer doesn't wear a bra.
67. Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.
68. Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
69. Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
70. Beer doesn't live with its mother.
71. Beer doesn't blow you off.
72. Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
73. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
74. Beer doesn't mind football season.
75. A beer won't make you go to church.
76. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
77. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
78. A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
79. A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
80. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials
with babies are "cute".
81. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
82. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman"
instead of "doberperson".
83. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of
lesbian folk music on your favorite radio station.
84. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
85. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the
toilet seat up.
86. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer,
it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable
87. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
88. A beer won't smoke in your car.
89. A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting
down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean
airliner out of the sky.
90. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
91. A beer will actually *support* belching and farting and share
your enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration
sports in the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta.
92. A beer is always ready to leave on time.
93. A beer never fishes for compliments.
94. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
95. Beer tastes *good*.
96. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then
decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape".
97. A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching
"John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.
98. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
99. A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the
grocery store.
100. A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse
"just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the beer won't
accuse you of it).
101. A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a
Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the
National Football League.
102. A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the
excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
103. A beer will *never* make you go to a Swedish movie.
104. A beer will *never* make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on
channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
105. A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene
Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".
106. A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that
tastes like STP Oil Treatment.
107. When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer
doesn't make you ill.

I know this is an Alcohol: Problems and Solutions blog, but this was just so funny that i had to add it.

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Medical reasons to have Sex Everyday

Next time she says no spout off these medical reasons to have sex daily and keep enjoying everyday.

Back in the 1940s, a renegade shrink named Wilhelm Reich recommended an orgasm every day to stay healthy. It was part of his reasons for sex he called the "sexual revolution." Unfortunately, folks were strung pretty tight back then, and they threw Reich’s ass in prison, where orgasms aren’t nearly as much fun.

But thinking this guy was onto something, we called some of the planet’s most renowned M.D.’s to find out if he was right. Guess what? He was. Unless you’re moving from girl to girl like Camryn Manheim moves through a sixpack of cling peaches in heavy syrup, a daily love session is just what the doctor ordered, for you and your partner in crime. Here are eight reasons to never get out of bed.

To get the body you want

When you cut your finger, does Ragú ooze out? Does the idea of exercising induce suicidal hollandaise binges? We can think of one way to have a blast and get in shape simultaneously. "Sex is a vigorous form of exercise," says Dr. Michael Cirigliano of the University of Pennsylvania. "The physiological changes in your body are consistent with a normal workout. Your heart and respiratory rates rise, and you burn calories." How many? Having sex three times a week for 20 minutes a pop for a year will burn some 7,500 calories (that’s the equivalent of a 4 1/2 pound wheel of brie). If you did it every day, you could shave off a pound of lard in two weeks. Of course, the more athletic the sex, the better the workout. See you in the emergency room.

Stay in the mood

Ever lie back after a good screw and think, Damn, the world’s a pit of misery. Why not end it all? Of course not. That’s because sex is an antidepressant. During the act your body’s producing pleasure-inducing fluids besides the ones that shoot out of your body. "You’re releasing endogenous opioids. They’re like drugs, but they’re manufactured internally," says Dr. Alice Ladas, a psychologist and one of the authors of The G Spot. In fact, studies show that merely touching someone can raise the level of serotonin in his brain, which is similar to what Prozac does.

Hurts so good

So she’s got a headache, huh? Arthritis? A fresh chain-saw wound? No excuse: Thanks to the endorphins released during sex, a rowdy belly dance can actually ease her suffering. "Pain threshold in women is elevated 60 to 80 percent during pleasurable stimulation," explains Dr. Beverly Whipple, a professor of neuroscience and president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. In one recent study, Gina Ogden, author of Women Who Love Sex, experimented by attaching a clamp to a woman’s finger and squeezing, first while she was at rest and later while she was getting some. As her subject climaxed, Ogden pinched past the point at which the woman routinely howled, with no response at all. "In the midst of orgasm," Ogden noted, "she apparently feels no pain."

Controlling her hormones

Want to help ease those nasty PMS symptoms? Studies show that a woman’s overall reproductive system benefits from frequent penile insertions. "Sexual activity helps strengthen the pubococcygeus muscles (PC muscles), which in turn help keep the pelvic organs in shape and where they belong," explains Dr. Ladas. Regular love sessions can also postpone the onset of menopause, stimulate fertility, and regulate the menstrual cycle.

Keep it cumming

Fun fact: 52 percent of all men between the ages of 40 and 70 have trouble getting wood. But having more sex can better your chances. Frequent erections keep blood flowing through your capillaries, so the flesh in your bone stays nourished. And more important, an erection is an athletic reflex. "The more you train the coordination between nerve and muscle, the easier it is to perform," says Dr. Andre Guay, head of the sexual function center at the Lahey Clinic in Peabody, Massachusetts.

The gland of milk and honey

Yeah, the prostate’s a funny little gland. Not only is it a key component in your pleasure machine (and a male G spot, if you know how to find it), it tends to swell as we get older, causing agony for lots of guys. To keep it from bugging you, take saw palmetto (an over-the-counter herb supplement that relieves symptoms of prostate enlargement ), and keep ejaculating. "Most of the fluid you ejaculate comes from the prostate and the seminal vescles," says Dr. Guay. "When someone stops having orgasms, the fluids back up and the glands can become swollen." When prostatic congestion occurs, the gland squeezes your urinary tract; pain shoots through your guts and you have a hard time taking a leak. Talk about a spent fuel rod.

Chemical attraction

Bet you didn’t know that testosterone is responsible for sex drive in women as well as men. Yup, a lady with no testosterone will be drier than an AA meeting. Plus, testosterone is a steroid that regulates the body’s metabolism, letting it use energy efficiently. And the more sex you have, the more testosterone you’re producing. "A consquence is that your body is able to stimulate tissue replacement and bone growth, which, among other things, helps prevent osteoporosis," says Dr. Susan Rako, author of The Hormone of Desire. "Higher levels of testosterone can also promote an overall feeling of well-being."

Been a long time coming...

Want to live longer? Try adding a little spice to your diet. In 1997 an inquisitive British doctor published a study that followed 918 men between the ages of 45 and 59 for 10 long years to determine how sexual activity affected their life spans. Here’s what he found: Men who had two or more orgasms every week were half as likely to croak as those who averaged fewer than one orgasm a month. And, hey, guys never lie about this kind of stuff, so we’re sure the data’s right on the money.

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